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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764354">that's the kind of love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/untilthenlive/pseuds/untilthenlive'>untilthenlive</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Begging, Body Worship, Bottom Kurogane, Clow Country, D/s undertones, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, First Time, Idiots in Love, KuroFai, Kurogane POV, Kurogane is YEARNING and PINING, M/M, Post-Series, Praise Kink, Romantic Tension, Rough Sex, Sexual Tension, Teasing, Undressing Each Other, kuro is very subby here but fai is also dom as hell. so have a field day, magic use during sex, not like SUPER rough but like they get into it, the vampire stuff doesnt HAPPEN but its mentioned a few times, this fic is my magnum opus, vampire kink, well... you can rip SWITCH!kurofai from my cold dead hands but you know, you can rip bottom!kuro from my cold dead hands</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:20:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,555</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764354</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/untilthenlive/pseuds/untilthenlive</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“What did you dream about?” Fai asks directly, his voice low and dangerous. Kurogane watches his lips form the words, with barely focused eyes; he can taste the liquor on his breath, and he thinks he might get drunk on that alone.</p><p>Kurogane lifts his gaze purposefully back up to meet Fai’s.</p><p>“You,” he whispers.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fay D. Fluorite/Kurogane</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>that's the kind of love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! I have a few things to say about this one!</p><p>First of all, this is the first explicit fic I have EVER WRITTEN and I'm a little nervous posting it, but I couldn't rest until this was done and I NEEDED to share it! This is also unbeta'd, but I did get lots of moral support and even dialogue/plot help from Sarah and Reve, so THANK YOU GUYS. &lt;3</p><p>Second of all, I don't know if you can tell, but this is the longest fic I've ever written by FAR. I wrote this in a week-long hyperfocus FEVER DREAM and, well. Here we are now. This is the hardest I've ever worked on a piece of fic so I hope you enjoy it!</p><p>THIRDLY, there are a couple small elements in here that I realized in hindsight were HEAVILY inspired by things that have happened in fics by other authors, such as cloverfield and others, so full credit to them for those little things, and just inspiring me to write any of this in general. &lt;3</p><p>Lastly, I listened to 3 songs basically on a LOOP while writing this: Dinner &amp; Diatribes by Hozier, and both Howl and Bedroom Hymns by Florence. Sooo if you see tiny little nods (or big nods) to those songs in here... you're welcome. Hehe.</p><p>ACTUALLY lastly: If you know me irl and you saw this, no you didn't &lt;3 LOL</p><p>Okay thank you for reading this very long intro and please enjoy!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Kurogane wakes drowsily from restless sleep, it’s with the distant echo of wind chimes ringing in his ears, from where they hang from a doorway leading to the veranda, crickets chirping in the almost-still of the night air. It’s with the memory of a <em> shoji </em> screen half-open to the stars outside, crescent moon hanging; and with the warm and intoxicating feeling of <em> home </em> having nothing to do with any of it - but instead with the soft tickle of blonde hair at his nose, the welcome weight of one so loved in his one-armed embrace, the tears drying at his shoulder and hands clutching at his back.</p><p>He opens his eyes, just to find himself alone, in a bed too big even for him - blinking up at the ceiling of a different castle, that lovely weight at his chest replaced by the still-strange weight of the prosthetic now reattached to his shoulder -</p><p>- and his heart <em> racing. </em></p><p>He closes his eyes again and presses two fingers to the bridge of his nose, breathing, trying to calm his pulse. It’s still early in the night, the rapidly cooling desert air trickling in through the cracked-open window. He turns his head to look at the curtain where it’s billowing from the difference in air pressure; remembers long, flowing sleeves settling back into their place above him to reveal a mischievous grin, a smile that finally reaches the single shining blue eye above it.</p><p>Kurogane shivers - from the cold, of course.</p><p>Then he sighs angrily at himself, drags an exasperated hand down his face. This <em> can’t </em> keep happening.</p><p>He throws the sheets off and stomps over to the window, sliding it shut and huffing.</p><p>He presses his forehead to the glass, and looks out over the balcony to watch the calm of the desert of Clow. It’s been a few nights that they’ve been here, and they’ve mostly all been confined to the castle, ordered by the queen to rest and heal after the battle - the conclusion of which he’s still not fully sure how to feel about.</p><p>He’s so sick of sleeping all the time, though - partly because he’s been doing so much of it, but mostly because he keeps having <em> dreams. </em></p><p>Usually he’s a light enough sleeper that dreams never come; he’s had a handful of them that he can remember throughout the years, but they’re about as rare to him as smiles are. Or, have been, at least - smiling has come a little more naturally to him recently.</p><p>As have the dreams.</p><p>There are nightmares about his parents; <em> good </em> dreams about his parents; dreams of fond memories with Princess Tomoyo when they were children; strange, abstract dreams that he can’t decipher, that he can’t shake the feeling are about the kid and the princess - the ones who aren’t here anymore, the ones he needs to smack upside the head when he sees them again, for leaving them like they did.</p><p>There are dreams about Fai, too.</p><p>He has a whole list of categories for the dreams about Fai.</p><p>There are the nightmares - of every time he’s ever had to save him, but something goes wrong and he’s not able to; of the same, when <em>nothing</em> goes wrong and Fai’s still here but he still hates Kurogane’s guts. The ones that disturb him the most are the flashes of his past that he’d been shown against Fai’s will - of a boy so desperately lonely and hurt and he <em>can’t</em> <em>help him. </em>There are the odd dreams that don’t make any sense - his sleep-addled brain conjuring up various unrelated details into Mokona-levels of nonsense; visions that just don’t mean anything, except, Fai is there. There are the simple dreams - just snippets of conversations they’ve had in the past, or ones they haven’t had; ones he can never fully remember when he wakes up.</p><p>And then there are the dreams like this one, just now - dreams that leave him with an aching in his chest when he wakes, an aching that lingers for minutes afterward. Sometimes they’re more sensation than sight - dreams of holding him close, of wanting to be with him and Fai wanting the same. Sometimes they’re just dreams about <em> him; </em>his hair or his eyes or his voice or all of him. Sometimes it’s just this overwhelming, abstract feeling that leaves Kurogane with thoughts of him when he wakes.</p><p>This one was a memory - of that night in Japan. Sometimes, Kurogane wonders if he’s imagining the tension that’s constantly tugging at both of them when they’re together - but then he remembers that night, the way they held each other in the sheer relief of the other’s safety; the mutual, verbal confirmation that they <em> cared </em> about one another, that they couldn’t lose each other. At the way their former companionship had returned - but somehow not even that. It was a new beginning, one with no more secrets, no more hiding, and no more distance.</p><p>They hadn’t done anything that night - just talked, cried a little, talked more - and Kurogane had fallen asleep far earlier than he’d’ve liked, drowsy from blood loss and medicine and far too content with the way Fai was rhythmically stroking his hair to stop sleep from taking him. When the morning came, he’d woken to find the mage asleep right at his side.</p><p>And then the rest of that day had come, and with it, new problems and heartache to take up their time.</p><p>But ever since that morning, he’s been <em> aching </em> to wake the same way - that familiar, comfortable weight tentatively pressed into his side.</p><p>Their relationship has changed, neither of them can deny that - they’re closer, far closer than they ever were before. They’ve talked more - <em> gods, </em> they’ve talked, there’s so much <em> time </em> to talk, now that they’ve been in Clow for almost a week with not much else to do but eat, sleep, and spend time with the kids. They talk about everything - the odd customs of Clow, the similarities between it and the other worlds they’ve been to; they’ve spent time finally starting to get to know and love <em> this </em> Sakura and Syaoran. There’s also the unending conversation they keep coming back to - of everything they’ve just been through, everything they’ve just seen.</p><p>He’s even been able to ask Fai questions about his past, and though it hasn’t become completely effortless overnight, Fai actually <em> talks </em> to him about it now, instead of closing up.</p><p>One afternoon, Fai had quietly asked Kurogane what <em> his </em> family was like -</p><p>- and, quietly, he told him. Not everything, not nearly, not yet - but enough.</p><p>The thing is, they’ve done almost nothing <em> but </em>talk - over breakfast, over lunch, over dinner. And at the end of the night, they always return to their own separate rooms to sleep.</p><p>Kurogane doesn’t <em>hate</em> talking with the mage - quite the opposite, in fact. He’d missed their talks dearly, when they were gone - missed asking questions and missed the idiot explaining his convoluted answers; missed discussing every little thing; missed his stupid jokes and their relentless banter; just missed the sound of Fai’s voice. Except, now that he has all that back… he can’t deny that all he wants to do sometimes is pull that blabbering mouth close to his own and shut him up. That he wishes that Fai would come to him at night and they’d do <em>anything</em> but talk.</p><p>He knows he loves him, that’s not a question. He accepted that long ago, when there was no option <em> but </em> to accept it, when he’d realized he’d do anything for the man, his own comfort and safety be damned. And he’s not going to stop, no matter how Fai feels in return - which is the thing he can’t quite figure out.</p><p>The mage has always teased and flirted with him, since day one. And that’s something else that's returned along with his company and his smile - except, there’s something... <em> different </em> about it, now. It’s like he’s simultaneously holding back, and going all out. There’s <em> absolutely </em> a more physical aspect to it now, too - and in that regard, Kurogane would be lying if he said he wasn’t an active participant in the flirting. Fingers brushing accidentally, arms touching as they walk, a hand ruffling through hair playfully or placed at the small of a back silently. They’re closer all the time, now - and not just emotionally.</p><p>It’s made the feeding more interesting, to say the least.</p><p>But no matter how much the flirting has evolved, no matter how badly he wants him - <em> Fai </em> still hasn’t said anything, hasn’t given him any clear indication that he wants a relationship with him beyond the one they already have. And he’s <em> not </em> going to be the one to force that on him. People have used Fai for their own gain his whole life - even Kurogane has taken away his choices, in the past - and the last thing he wants is for Fai to think he <em> owes </em> Kurogane anything. He loves him, he cares about him, but he doesn’t want anything the mage isn’t completely willing to give - so he’s left it at that for now.</p><p>Still… he’s <em> attracted </em> to him, to put it plainly - and that doesn’t make anything easier.</p><p>Kurogane sighs, runs a hand through his hair, and decides he needs to go for a walk.</p><p>He goes to put on his clothes from earlier, where he draped them over the chair. But he can’t get the image of him out of his mind.</p><p>It doesn’t help that he’s gotten so used to talking through things that bother him<em> with Fai. </em> He can’t exactly go to him with this and have things be the same afterward. But... he does want to go to him - if only just to talk about <em> something </em> else. Though, he’s not sure how much that would help, either.</p><p>He pauses once he’s dressed, wondering if the mage might be wandering outside too. Maybe he’ll find him out there anyway, and trying to avoid him on purpose would be a pointless endeavor.</p><p>Suddenly, he realizes he’s overthinking - this is so <em> stupid</em>, Kurogane doesn’t <em> overthink </em> things - he decides what he wants to do and then he does it.</p><p>It’s not that late, Kurogane reasons, maybe Fai’s still awake - and he has a bottle of <em> sake </em> they pilfered from the kitchens earlier (the Queen doesn’t want them to drink while they’re still healing, but they both agreed they needed <em> something</em>). It’s Fai’s company he craves more than anything, after all, so maybe he can just go find him, and they can sit and drink and talk, like they usually do.</p><p>Yes, he decides, he’ll go look for him. He goes to the door, pulls it open and -</p><p>- and almost barrels right into Fai, who practically jumps where he’s standing right at the doorway, hand up as if to knock - a dumb expression of shock on his face.</p><p>Kurogane stands there, hand still on the doorknob, probably looking just as dumbfounded and shocked.</p><p>Fai lowers his hand and blushes - which is a rare sight, but such a welcome one. He’s wearing the all-black clothing typical of the base garments in Clow, and that color looks <em> so </em> good on him, and his skin is practically glowing in the moonlight, and his hair is tied low at his neck and hanging just over his shoulder, and... he looks so <em> beautiful. </em></p><p>Shit.</p><p>Maybe this was a bad idea after all.</p><p>Wait. Fai was the one who came to him.</p><p>“...What are you doing here?” Kurogane asks, finally.</p><p>Fai stares at him, and then laughs quietly. “Hello to you, too.”</p><p>That’s not an answer, and Kurogane waits. Fai sighs after a moment, sheepishly.</p><p>“I… was looking for you,” he says, and the honesty of it almost shocks him. “What were <em> you </em> doing?” he asks, almost accusatory.</p><p>“I was -” Kurogane starts in defense. He could tell him he was going for a walk, which <em>was</em> his first plan. But Fai was just honest with him, and he thinks that deserves some honesty in return. “...looking for you, too.”</p><p>The mage looks up at him in surprise for a moment, and then smirks, all the tension leaving his shoulders. “Aren’t you supposed to be resting?” He asks, nodding toward Kurogane’s shoulder.</p><p>Kurogane just rolls his eyes, tries to hide his blush. “I couldn’t sleep.”</p><p>“Hmm,” Fai narrows his eyes and just grins wider, crossing his arms. “You couldn’t sleep, so you were gonna come looking for <em> me.</em>” He probably doesn’t mean for it to be an accusation, but it is.</p><p>“Sh- shut up!” Kurogane retorts, face burning. “I was just-! I…” He looks around the room and spots the bottle of <em> sake. </em></p><p>“I… have <em> sake </em> that needs drinking, and it’s better with someone else.”</p><p>Fai eyes the bottle of liquor on the table - oh. The one Kurogane was supposed to be taking with him.</p><p>He realizes a little too late, at the same time Fai does, that the bottle is very clearly <em> not </em> in his hand - and Fai doesn’t seem fooled at all, still grinning like an idiot. His eyes are shining up at him as he lets out a little breath of a laugh.</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>Kurogane glares down at him. “Well, what did <em> you </em> want?”</p><p>Fai pauses, and after a moment his grin fades a little. He bites his lip and looks off to the side, unfolding his arms. “I… couldn’t sleep either.”</p><p>Kurogane watches him for a moment. Then he scoffs, amused, and rolls his eyes fondly - of <em> course </em> he’d tease him for having the same problem he had. He eyes him for a moment more, and then - “Come in,” he nods toward the room.</p><p>Fai looks up and gives him a small, grateful smile, before stepping inside. Kurogane closes the door behind him, letting it shut with a <em>'click'.</em></p><p>Fai wanders over to the table with the <em> sake </em> on it and plops down in one of the chairs, popping the cork out and taking a swig straight from the bottle. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and holds out the bottle in offering as Kurogane takes the seat across from him, not taking his eyes off Fai the entire time. He ‘tsk’s and takes the bottle from his hand, doing his best to ignore the spark where their fingers meet.</p><p>He takes a sip of his own and feels it burn down his throat, as the rim of the bottle itself burns on his lips.</p><p>Fai watches him drink, and when Kurogane’s done, he meets his gaze. The mage gets comfortable, brings his legs up beneath him in his chair, lifting one knee to his chest and resting his chin on his hands on top. Kurogane raises an eyebrow at how uncomfortable that looks.</p><p>“So, why couldn’t you sleep?” Kurogane asks.</p><p>Fai pauses, then sighs, looks down. “Oh, just… everything. You know already.” He starts swaying side to side, absentmindedly. “Still trying to take it all in.”</p><p>Kurogane hums. He understands that intimately, and Fai knows it. They’ve talked about it so many times this week, though, and right now it seems like there’s nothing new to say - but it still seems like that’s not all that’s bothering him. Still, Fai doesn’t elaborate, so he leaves it at that for now.</p><p>He’ll get it out of him at some point tonight.</p><p>“What about you?” Fai asks quietly, looking up at him again through his lashes.</p><p>Kurogane tenses a little, and stares into searching eyes a little too long - that gaze is dangerous, could make him end up telling Fai <em> everything </em> if he’s not careful.</p><p>He looks to the side to escape it, trying to decide what to tell him. But he’s never been one for lying.</p><p>He decides to tell half the truth.</p><p>“I… had a dream.”</p><p>Fai lifts his head off his knee. “A bad dream?”</p><p>Kurogane looks at him again, stares into deep blue. “No.”</p><p>Fai reaches a hand out, places it on top of Kurogane’s where it rests in the middle of the table. He strokes a thumb against the back of his index finger. “What kind of dream?”</p><p>“I… it was...” Kurogane inhales, trying not to focus too hard on the way Fai’s hand feels. “Just something that’s been...”</p><p>Fai’s gaze is unwavering. Kurogane swallows.</p><p>“...that I’ve been thinking about a lot.”</p><p>Fai quirks the corner of his lip up in a supportive smile. “Do you wanna tell me about it?”</p><p>
  <em> Yes. </em>
</p><p>“No, its… it’s nothing.” He holds his gaze for a moment too long again - and then catches himself, and raises the bottle into the air, smirking. “Drinking helps.” He takes another swig, and it <em> does </em>.</p><p>Fai snorts. “You’re hopeless,” he chuckles, shaking his head. He eyes the bottle, though, and chews the inside of his lip. “Gimme some of that,” he says, reaching for the bottle again.</p><p>Kurogane scowls and holds onto the bottle - he was about to take another sip, thank you very much - but Fai’s hand is on it already, pulling in the opposite direction. They struggle for a few moments of tug-of-war before Fai finally pulls the bottle free, Kurogane letting out a “hey!” as Fai laughs victoriously, slinks back into his chair, and then tilts his head back to take a long sip.</p><p>Kurogane glares in defeat as he watches him drink, but his eyes flicker from Fai’s face, to his lips as they sip, to his hand, where his fingers wrap around the neck of the bottle. His own, lone hand still rests on the table, twitching at the absence of Fai’s grasp.</p><p>Fai <em> pops </em> his lips off the bottle and sighs in satisfaction at the drink. That shouldn’t do things to him, but <em> gods </em>it does.</p><p>“You really shouldn’t be drinking this stuff,” Fai says. “I know you stole it the other day, I watched you." He winks. "Maybe that’s why you can’t sleep. Your guilty conscience is haunting you.”</p><p>Kurogane flusters at the wink, but rolls his eyes. “I don’t <em> have </em> a guilty conscience, mage, that’s definitely not it.” He leans in closer and reaches out to grab the bottle again, aggressively, this time very purposefully gripping the bottle right where Fai’s hand is wrapped around it. “Besides, you didn’t watch me, you <em> helped </em>me.”</p><p>Fai narrows his eyes, lips curling up in a grin, and slowly lets go of the bottle, nimble fingers slipping out from under his grasp. “Did I? Silly me.”</p><p>Kurogane eyes him suspiciously before leaning back and taking another sip.</p><p>“So what was it, then?” Fai asks.</p><p>Kurogane wipes his mouth with his sleeve. “What was what?”</p><p>“The dream.” Fai rests his chin on his hands again, tilting his head. “The thing you can’t stop thinking about.”</p><p>
  <em> You. </em>
</p><p>“I - I told you, it’s nothing.” He wants to punch his inner voice in the face. “And I didn’t say I <em> ‘can’t stop’ </em> thinking about it.”</p><p>“But it’s true, though,” Fai posits. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be avoiding it like this.”</p><p>His teeth flash in a tease as he speaks, and Kurogane <em> hates </em>it. (Except, no he doesn’t.)</p><p>“That doesn’t even make sense,” Kurogane argues. “Why are you even so worried about it? Just - drop it.”</p><p>Fai giggles and ignores the last part of that sentence. “Because! Whatever it was made you think about <em> me.” </em></p><p>And, shit. Kurogane barely even said anything, and yet now he knows he’s revealed too much.</p><p>“Look, it’s like I said, I - I just wanted to drink with you. That’s all.”</p><p>Fai laughs again. “That’s not what you said before!”</p><p><em> “What!?” </em>Kurogane barks out. “Yes it is!”</p><p>Fai shakes his head and makes a face like he’s finally gotten the upper hand. “No, you just said you wanted to drink with <em> someone. </em>”</p><p>Kurogane flushes - that <em> is </em> technically what he said, and he can’t argue that without revealing that Fai was the only person he had in mind.</p><p>“You’re so damn <em> annoying,</em>” he grumbles. “You’re the one who came to me,” he argues, suddenly realizing as much.</p><p>Fai stares at him for a long moment, their gazes locked in a stalemate - and then he steals the bottle from Kurogane’s grasp to take another long sip.</p><p>“Something’s bothering you,” Kurogane observes, as Fai drinks.</p><p>Fai puts the bottle down - and after a moment, he resigns, sighing.</p><p>“I overheard Syaoran-kun talking to Moko-chan earlier,” he starts.</p><p>Kurogane raises an eyebrow.</p><p>“I couldn’t get all the details, but it sounded like they were talking about… the price he paid. To get out of that place.”</p><p>Kurogane furrows his brow again, suddenly very interested.</p><p>Syaoran had told them what happened in the end - what happened while he and Sakura were trapped in that other dimension, and Fai and Kurogane and Mokona had waited anxiously for them on the other side, not knowing a <em> thing </em> about whatever was going on, before they came back and collapsed in their arms. He still can’t quite wrap his head around it all, but he knows that the kid paid a price to get out of there and return to them.</p><p>He just hadn’t told them what he'd paid.</p><p>“Did you hear what it was?” He asks.</p><p>Fai looks up at him, then down again, and shakes his head. “Not entirely, but… for the most part, it - well. It sounds like he isn’t staying here.” Fai runs his finger around the lip of the bottle, eyes unfocused. “Or, rather, that he <em> can’t </em> stay here.”</p><p>“Here… in the castle?”</p><p>Fai shakes his head. “In this world.”</p><p>Kurogane stares, then turns his gaze down. He’d wondered in passing about this - wondered what would happen if, or when, they were forced to move on from this world.</p><p>He hadn’t let himself think about them all having to split up.</p><p>“What does that mean?” Kurogane asks.</p><p>Fai chuckles without smiling. “That’s what I’m wondering.” He glances up at Kurogane, his expression unreadable.</p><p>“...Well, what’s the Princess doing?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Fai shrugs. “It sounded like Syaoran-kun has only told Mokona. It makes sense - Mokona’s the one he’d <em> have </em> to tell.”</p><p>“Well, where’s he going?”</p><p>Fai just shakes his head, fingers pulling at his own earlobe. “I wanted to ask him, but… he hasn’t told us about it yet. I want to trust him - I don’t want to assume anything or worry about it too much until he does.” He pauses. “But...”</p><p>“...You can’t help it,” Kurogane finishes for him.</p><p>Fai laughs. “Yeah.” He looks up to meet his gaze again, and lowers his hand. “It also... it just got me wondering about… what <em>you </em>would do.”</p><p><em> What </em> we <em>would do, </em> is what Kurogane hears.</p><p>He’s silent for a moment, as he stares at the mage.</p><p>He’s wanted for so long to return to Princess Tomoyo - that was his first wish, after all. But he also wants to get the kid and the princess back. He wants to stay with the new kid, with the new princess, with the stupid manjuu, with <em> Fai </em> - with <em> all </em> of them. But he knows none of that is promised, anymore. Anything can happen, now.</p><p>“...Well, <em> you </em> still have the vampire blood,” Kurogane reasons. He made that promise back then knowing what it meant, and Fai has surely accepted what it means by now, too.</p><p>But Fai shrugs. “I do, but… it’s possible that with my magic back now, your blood’s not necessary to keep me alive. I’m powerful enough on my own that it’s… I mean, the blood certainly makes things easier, but.” He swallows and looks down. “I don’t know if I need it anymore.”</p><p>Kurogane narrows his eyes. “‘You don’t know’ or ‘you don’t’?”</p><p>Fai sighs. “I just… don’t want to make you stay with me if that’s not what you…” He trails off.</p><p>He’s being ridiculous, Kurogane thinks - of <em> course </em> that’s what he wants. They’ve talked about this. He thought he’d made it clear by now that he didn’t want Fai to leave his side. But… maybe he hasn’t made it clear that he feels that way <em> permanently </em>.</p><p>And… he thinks with a sudden jolt - maybe that’s not what <em> Fai </em> wants.</p><p>Maybe his worst fears have come true, maybe Fai thinks that he owes him something, and he’s only staying with him because Kurogane wants him to.</p><p>“What would you do if I didn’t?” Kurogane asks, quietly.</p><p>Fai looks up, but doesn't look him in the eye, and he looks… almost pained. “Stay here, with Sakura-chan maybe. If she’ll have me.” He chews his lip and looks away. “Or maybe go with Syaoran-kun, if I can. You know I don’t really have many other options.”</p><p>Kurogane looks down. He can’t have his new family split up - he <em> can’t </em>. He’s lost too much to make sure they could stay together.</p><p>“Anyway,” Fai exhales, after a long silence. “This is all hypothetical right now, until Syaoran tells us everything. Maybe we won’t have to worry about any of this.” His smile looks too similar to his old ones.</p><p>“Yeah,” Kurogane says slowly. “Maybe.”</p><p>He hopes they won’t.</p><p>Fai takes in a shaky deep breath. “Besides,” he perks up a little, changing the subject. “I heard them talking about something else, too. Mokona-chan found a whole hidden store of wine that the palace isn’t using for anything.”</p><p>Kurogane stares at him, and then scoffs. “Are you suggesting we steal more? I don’t have a problem with a few, but we haven’t even finished <em> this </em> one yet.” He takes a sip to make his point.</p><p>“Oh, what’s that I hear?” Fai teases, cupping a hand to his ear. “Is this that guilty conscience you ‘don’t have’?”</p><p>“It’s not a guilty conscience!” Kurogane grumbles, but he’s grateful for the change in tone of the conversation. “I just don’t think we should push it with the hospitality they’re giving us.”</p><p>Fai laughs out loud, smiles at Kurogane. “My, listen to you! You’re going soft.”</p><p><em> “I am not!” </em> Kurogane argues, face burning.</p><p>Fai ignores him. “Maybe that’s why you’re having dreams.” He smirks.</p><p>Kurogane gapes at him. “That<em> again?” </em> He groans, incredulous.</p><p>“You <em>know </em>I’m not gonna let it go until you tell me what it was,” Fai teases, in a singsong voice.</p><p>“You’re such a pain in the ass,” Kurogane rolls his eyes.</p><p>“I’m just saying,” Fai laughs and stares off to the side defiantly. “What if it was about me?”</p><p>Kurogane is tired of this argument.</p><p>He surges forward to lean on the table, setting it shaking from his sudden weight. “What if it was?”</p><p>Fai’s eyes snap up, and everything stops. Kurogane freezes - suddenly realizing what he just said.</p><p>He’s definitely revealed too much this time.</p><p>But… as Fai looks him up and down, searching… he knows he doesn’t take things back once he’s said them.</p><p>Besides, this is their pattern - this is always the point in the argument when he turns the tables on Fai, and the mage changes the subject, backing down and closing up. He doesn’t always mean for it to happen, but it does.</p><p>Except… that’s not what Fai does this time.</p><p>Except, Fai<em> sees </em> him freeze up - and in hindsight, he’ll realize that this was the final straw.</p><p>Fai lowers his foot from the chair to the floor, painfully slowly, and leans in close, mirroring Kurogane’s pose.</p><p>They’re inches apart.</p><p>Fai’s eyes flit back and forth between Kurogane’s, almost searching. Kurogane’s gaze flickers down for a millisecond, then another, noticing the shallow breath whispering through slightly parted lips.</p><p>“What if it <em> was?” </em> Fai echoes - voice a little breathier than he means it to be - and Kurogane <em> knows </em> he’s not imagining Fai’s gaze flickering down to his lips. It’s a challenge, but there’s the slightest tinge of unmistakable, earnest <em> hope </em> to his words, to his expression - silently begging for Kurogane to tell him that <em> yes, </em> his dream <em> was </em> about him.</p><p>Kurogane swallows. He wants so badly to confirm Fai’s suspicions. Wants to tell him how badly he wants him to stay, to tell him that the dreams about him are the most pleasant he’s ever had.</p><p>He realizes - he <em> can. </em></p><p>“Then I would’ve come looking for you,” he answers, and it’s as clear a confession as any.</p><p>Fai freezes, sucks in a tiny breath - and the look they exchange is one of pure <em> want</em>.</p><p>Fai is launching out of his chair and standing above Kurogane in a second - almost knocking the table and the forgotten <em> sake </em> over in the process. He grabs the neckline of Kurogane’s shirt into his fist and pulls <em> up, </em> bringing his face an inch away from his own where he leans down to meet him.</p><p>His eyes are electrifyingly blue up close, and Kurogane wants to drown in them and never come back up.</p><p><em> “What did you dream about?” </em>Fai asks directly, his voice low and dangerous. Kurogane watches his lips form the words, with barely focused eyes; he can taste the liquor on his breath, and he thinks he might get drunk on that alone.</p><p>Kurogane lifts his gaze purposefully back up to meet Fai’s.</p><p><em> “You,” </em> he whispers.</p><p>And then Fai’s kissing him -</p><p>- and he’s kissing him back -</p><p>- and they’re desperately pulling each other closer, and it's <em> perfect </em> - Fai pushing him against the back of the chair, climbing on top of him, hands sliding from Kurogane’s chest to neck to face, then back to tangle in his hair. Kurogane wraps both arms around him - one hand, blood and bone, sliding up that arched back to tangle into his hair - the other, metal and synthetic skin, curling around a slender waist and falling to rest at the small of his back, pulling him in closer and <em> keeping </em> him there, chest to chest and mouth to mouth in the chair that's much too small for this.</p><p>Kurogane can taste the alcohol on his tongue, can taste building desperation even in the slowness of the way Fai's lips catch his own - feels the heat in their shared breath in the small space between them when their lips part, then crash back together.</p><p><em> Finally, </em> he thinks, as he feels Fai’s hands tilting his head further into the kiss. The mage is holding onto him for dear life, and he’s not about to let him go anytime soon. He's imagined this moment about a million different times, <em> dreamed </em> it - but this is so much better than anything his mind could have conjured up. This Fai isn’t a dream - he’s <em> real, </em> here in his arms, and his lips are warm and pliant and so inviting, and this kiss is quickly building into something that’s <em>anything</em> but gentle - all tongues and teeth and heat.</p><p>“Tell me about it,” Fai whispers down against his lips, and Kurogane almost forgets what they were even talking about in the first place. “The dream,” Fai continues, and, oh. Right.</p><p>“It was - ” he starts, “- just you.” Fai doesn’t stop kissing him, and he has to speak in fragments. It’s very distracting - but he doesn’t think he ever wants to talk normally again. “That night in - in Japan.”</p><p>Fai tightens his grip in his hair, and Kurogane has to stop talking for a moment, sighing up into his mouth.</p><p>“But I - <em> mn </em> - I woke up wishing you were - in my bed, like then.” Fai sighs, and it’s like a drug, intoxicating him and drawing the next words out before he can stop them. “It’s- It’s too damn <em> big </em> without you in it.”</p><p>Fai brings his hands down to Kurogane’s chest, and suddenly he’s climbing off of him, standing and furiously tugging him to his feet before <em> pushing </em> him backward, sending him stumbling over the chair and almost tripping, in a straight line toward the bed - never once breaking their kiss. Kurogane goes willingly, feels the backs of his knees hit the mattress first; and then Fai is <em> pushing </em> him down onto his back on the bed. Kurogane winces a little at the jostling of his bad shoulder, but then Fai is climbing on top of him, whispering between kisses -</p><p>“There hasn’t been - ”</p><p>as they struggle to crawl up the bed,</p><p>“- a <em> single </em> night -”</p><p>Kurogane scooting backwards with all his strength and with flailing limbs and with Fai’s hands sliding up to his face,</p><p>“- that I haven’t fallen asleep -”</p><p>Fai pushing him up into the pillows,</p><p>“- <em> wishing </em> -”</p><p>Kurogane sliding his hands up Fai’s arms,</p><p>“- that I was with <em> you.” </em></p><p>Kurogane exhales, heart pounding, tilting his head up to meet Fai’s rough kisses with his own.</p><p>“Then where the hell have you <em> been?” </em> he growls.</p><p>Fai sighs in return, and shuts him up.</p><p>He knows maybe he should worry about his shoulder, but other than the brief discomfort before, he's certainly not complaining; not with the way Fai is settling into a straddle on top of him now, the way he's kissing him like a man starved. And maybe they should be more gentle, maybe they should slow down. But Kurogane has wanted him, wanted <em> this, </em> for so long - wanted those strong thighs bracketing his hips and pinning him down, that clever tongue licking into his mouth, the sweet pressure of those hands on his chest, splayed out, cold nimble fingers slipping underneath fabric and pushing it aside as much as possible to caress bare skin.</p><p>Kurogane glides his own hands down to Fai's hips, fingers drawn to the patch of bare skin where his shirt rides up - and he can't <em>quite</em> bite back the groan that comes when the mage presses his whole body down against his own. Fai gasps at the noise, and Kurogane swallows that gasp and tilts his head, changing the angle of their kiss, turning it from something desperate to something <em>filthy</em>, and it's good, it's so <em>good</em>.</p><p>And yet still he wants more, wants anything the idiot above him is willing to give. Wants to <em>give</em> Fai anything he wants to take.</p><p>He knows maybe they should talk first - there are things he wants to say, and still more he’s sure the mage would say in return, with the way he never shuts up.</p><p>But they have all the time in the world for talking.</p><p>Right now, they've been waiting far too long for <em>this</em>, this simmering heat that's been burning between them all week - no, for <em>months</em> now - finally sparking into this raging fire consuming them both. Right now they're alone, and it's dark, and the night air of the desert is cold, and they've got <em>hours</em> until the sun rises and anyone would even think to come looking for them.</p><p>And now that they've started, Kurogane doesn't know if he could ever stop - can’t even imagine wanting to.</p><p>He’s needed this so badly. They both have.</p><p>Kurogane surges up and grabs Fai by the hip, starts to swing an arm around to overtake him and climb on top of him -</p><p>- but then, Fai grabs him by the shirt, <em> slams </em> him back down onto the mattress.</p><p><em> Fuck. </em> Okay.</p><p>In the fog that takes over his brain in response, he almost doesn’t notice at first - but then he feels it, the hardening pressure against his groin as Fai slowly starts to grind down against him. He holds back a groan, hands reaching down to grab Fai’s ass and pull him closer, his mind going even fuzzier at that burning contact between their hips, through layers of clothing, and -</p><p>Fai <em> moans, </em> quietly, into his mouth, like he can’t stop himself.</p><p>The sound and vibration of it go <em> straight </em> to his groin, and suddenly the clothes between them are far too much.</p><p>He needs him naked <em> now. </em></p><p>Fai must have the same thought, because he pulls barely an inch away, his breath hot against Kurogane's mouth, and - "Take this off," he says - <em> commands - </em> both hands tugging at Kurogane's shirt, and <em> fuck, </em>he wants to obey.</p><p>"You first," Kurogane argues instead, because the thought of riling the mage up even more is far too promising to pass up. If Fai gets to take the reins their first time, that's <em> more </em> than fine by him - but he wants to have some fun with this anyhow. If this is finally happening, then he wants Fai to fuck him <em> senseless. </em></p><p>And he'll get it, too, if the way Fai <em> growls </em> in response is anything to go by. Kurogane grins wickedly up at him, his blood boiling, inviting Fai to swoop back down and wipe that smirk off his face with another searing kiss.</p><p>Which he does -</p><p>- while also bringing one knee up and sliding it between Kurogane's thighs, pressing it hard against his groin. Kurogane shudders, hips snapping up against the pressure, more desperate for friction than he realized. <em> Shit. </em></p><p>Fai pulls away barely a centimeter and laughs dryly - <em> laughs. </em></p><p>Kurogane’s stomach drops.</p><p>"Don't test me, darling. I <em> know </em> how to get what I want from you," he threatens, his voice quiet and raspy against his lips. And Kurogane is far too turned on to hide his reaction to that - the recognition of the <em> animal </em> he knows resides within this man, the claws that lie in wait just underneath nimble fingertips and the teeth that sharpen to points when he's hungry. And this is hunger, of a sort, so Kurogane wonders...</p><p>But when he looks up, it's to eyes just as devastatingly blue as ever, to teeth only as sharp as the wicked grin his lover is shooting down at him. This is not the vampire blood guiding his actions, this is <em> Fai - </em> and fuck, Kurogane wants him all the more for it.</p><p>He lets out a shaky breath in anticipation, weighing his options - before lifting up onto his elbows and quickly shrugging out of the shirt he's wearing. He throws it to the side, with no care for where it ends up, and leans back against the pillows again, head tipped back, arms splayed out lazily at his sides.</p><p>Fai lets out a shaky breath of his own, and grins down at him as if he's been given a feast, eyes raking him up and down. His hands come up to spread out across the bare expanse of Kurogane's chest, touching and caressing reverently, scars and all. Those hands glide over his abdomen, fingers slide into the spaces between his ribs, stroke up to his pectorals.</p><p>Kurogane warms under his touch and under his gaze; shudders when a rough thumb brushes against his nipple, and his own hand reaches up to grab Fai's forearm in a quick reaction - not stopping him, just holding him there, anchoring himself. </p><p>Fai finally meets his gaze at the touch, and his grin, previously softened by the awe of seeing his lover spread out before him, returns in full force. "There now, was that so hard?" he <em> purrs, </em> rubbing his thumb over that same place again. Kurogane hisses out a short breath through clenched teeth, and his grip on Fai's arm tightens, his own thumb stroking against that pale wrist.</p><p>He keeps his resolve, though, even with Fai's knee still pressed up between his legs. "Now you," he says, narrowing his eyes and nodding down at Fai's shirt.</p><p>Fai chuckles under his breath, and Kurogane has never been <em> more </em> attracted to this man, to this dangerous, sweet creature he is so in love with. "Fine. I suppose you've earned that much."</p><p>Kurogane’s fingers slide down and off Fai's wrist when he kneels back. The mage grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it up, off, and over his head, peeling his arms out of the sleeves and tossing it unceremoniously to the side, to join Kurogane's somewhere on the floor.</p><p>Kurogane can’t help the sigh that whispers past his teeth at the sight of him. Fai’s seen him shirtless before, but he’s never seen Fai like this - bare and vulnerable and so, so beautiful, as he climbs back up to loom over him. “Look at you,” Kurogane mutters, and Fai flushes a little as Kurogane reaches up with both hands to touch him - lets his fingers glide over barely-defined muscle, and dip into the valley above his hip, feeling the mage’s lungs deflate as he sighs beneath his touch. He marvels at the contrast between the dark tan of his hands as they glide across the flat of Fai’s stomach, skin that’s barely seen any sun. He wants to map out and memorize every inch of that fair skin; with his eyes, with his hands, with his tongue.</p><p>Kurogane glances up to meet those blue, <em> blue </em> eyes that are burning into his soul, and there’s a brief moment of recognition between them. A silent unspoken exchange of <em> i want you </em> and <em> i want this </em> and <em> this is happening </em> and <em> don’t run away, </em> <b> <em>please</em> </b> <em> don’t run away. </em></p><p>Fai doesn’t run away. Instead, he grins down at him, eyes shining, and Kurogane returns that grin a millisecond before Fai’s lips are on his own again, kissing slower this time. His hands make their way around Fai’s waist, run up and down the lovely planes of his bare back, as Fai lowers himself again, pressing their bodies together, straddling his thigh. Kurogane shudders, sighs into his mouth.</p><p>He can feel Fai's heart pounding against his chest. Every inch of contact between their bare skin feels like fire, and they’re so close but he needs him <em> closer - </em> so he drags a hand down to the small of his back and presses in.</p><p>Fai breathes out a laugh and adjusts his position, brings his other knee in, settling fully between Kurogane’s thighs, and like this they can finally set a rhythm, rocking against each other through their clothes.</p><p>Fai pulls out of the kiss and Kurogane tries to chase his lips, pull him back in, but then that mouth is at his throat, burning like a brand against his skin. A metal hand shoots up to tangle into that mess of blonde hair and drag him closer, and Fai lifts a hand of his own to the other side of Kurogane's neck, trapping him and holding him stable, long fingertips just grazing the dark hair at his nape as he sets his lips and tongue to work.</p><p>Kurogane lets out a groan, tilting his head to give Fai a better angle, and the mage moans in turn into his neck, low and wanton, echoing in Kurogane's head and driving him crazy. Fai keeps rolling his hips, far too slow but the pressure is just right, and kisses a mark into Kurogane’s neck.</p><p>Kurogane grinds desperately up against him in kind, breath coming out in shaking, uneven puffs of air. After a little while, that devilish tongue dips out, licking up the length of his jugular - and he <em> must </em> be able to taste the thin sheen of sweat there - before that beautiful mouth latches onto another spot, just below his ear.</p><p>(He wonders, not for the first time, what it’d be like if Fai bit him here, instead of his wrist, and fed from him like this. Maybe he can ask him for it, now. Maybe he would do it.)</p><p>He’s not going to last long like this, he knows - and he’d be happy to just keep going this way - letting Fai mark up his neck, mindlessly rutting against each other until they're both spent. But that's not what he wants tonight.</p><p>He wants <em> more - </em> and he's getting impatient.</p><p>His hands make their way down Fai's back, fingers dipping under the waistband of his trousers. Fai hums, smiles, against his throat.</p><p>"Are you ever gonna take these off?" Kurogane grumbles, grabbing at them and clumsily trying and failing to pull them off of him, unable to move very far with Fai on top of him like this.</p><p>Fai laughs, voice muffled, where he's buried himself into Kurogane's shoulder. He turns his head a bit, pressing kisses and breathing hot against his ear. "Be patient," he whispers, but it's so loud when he's so close like this - and then teeth close possessively around his earlobe, and Kurogane <em> growls </em> again.</p><p>“We’ve been - waiting long enough,” he grumbles - but he doesn't have to wait for much longer, at least, because Fai places one more kiss at his jawline before pulling away, leaning up on his forearm to admire his work. He must like what he sees, because he lets out a satisfied sigh, grinning, thumb stroking absentmindedly at Kurogane's jaw on the other side.</p><p>Kurogane sighs in frustration, glaring up at him. "<em>Off,</em>" he repeats, voice rumbling in the quiet of the room, and he tugs at Fai's pants again for emphasis.</p><p>Fai laughs, and gods above, he's going to strangle him - but at least he's moving now, pressing his hands to Kurogane's chest again to heave himself up. "Okay, okay," he says, but the shit-eating grin on his face as he moves to kneel beside him says something else entirely.</p><p>He should've known that sex with this idiot would be just as teasing and frustrating as anything else with him is - if not <em> more </em>so.</p><p>Fai leans over him, placing a hand on his thigh, kneading up and down and massaging the muscle there, and - gods, that hand is so close to where he needs it to be, he <em> needs </em> Fai to touch him, there's too much to think about, <em> fuck, </em> he's going to go mad - </p><p>- and then he <em> does </em> touch him, that hand travelling in a slow, tantalizing path up from his thigh, to palm over his erection, and he can't stop the moan that comes under his breath, <em> fuck, </em>that's - </p><p>But then his hand keeps moving, up, up to clutch at the waistband of Kurogane's trousers, and his other hand grabs the fabric at the other side, and Kurogane's eyes widen in realization, and -</p><p>In one single, hard <em> yank</em>, Fai pulls Kurogane's pants and underwear down, both at once, all the way down to his knees.</p><p>Fuck. <em> Shit. </em></p><p>
  <em> Fuck. </em>
</p><p>Well, he took <em> something </em>off.</p><p>Kurogane lets out an incredulous sound, that almost could be a laugh if he weren't so fucking turned on by that. The insane, ridiculous amount of power this man has over him is not something he can <em> ever </em> let him know about, because this - this man is going to <em> kill </em> him, and he hasn't even <em> touched </em> him yet.</p><p>Fai is frozen where he kneels above him, hands still caught in the fabric pooled around Kurogane's knees, and he's staring down at him hungrily, mouth practically watering.</p><p>(Kurogane exhales and files that away for another time - he'll have to make it up to him later. Tonight, there is <em> no way </em> he's letting Fai get away with anything less than bending him in half and pounding him into the mattress.)</p><p>Kurogane is breathing hard, and Fai is too - and when their eyes meet, it’s like lightning strikes.</p><p>All of a sudden, Kurogane is surging up, capturing his mouth again and swallowing Fai’s groan when their lips meet, grabbing at anything he can reach to drag Fai down with him - an arm, the side of his face, his hair - and Fai goes willingly, kissing him back fiercely, hungrily. Kurogane clumsily kicks his trousers off the rest of the way, and starts tugging at Fai’s again. He doesn’t have time for pretense anymore, he wants them <em> off, </em> and apparently so does Fai - both of their hands fumble trying to pull them down without having to part.</p><p>They get them halfway down his hips, with their efforts, but after a while, Fai is the one to let out a frustrated noise, this time - to Kurogane’s amusement - and with a huff, he finally takes matters into his own hands. He pulls away and rolls off of Kurogane, lands on his back on the bed beside him, and tugs his pants down in quick succession. Kurogane waits and watches, barely able to catch his breath as Fai kicks off his underwear, and <em> gods </em> he looks <em> so </em> good naked. But he doesn’t have the time to appreciate the view, because now Fai’s catching his gaze again, and they’re crashing back together in a bruising kiss, battling for dominance in a struggle that just ends much in the same way as before - Fai rolling back on top of him, slamming him down against the bed.</p><p>Kurogane feels the wind knocked out of him, at that, and he can’t seem to hold Fai <em> close </em> enough - fingers carding into and pulling at soft blonde locks, legs tangling together as Fai rakes his fingernails down his sides and his back. All of his senses are heightened and hyperaware, but it’s still a desperate shock to feel the first brush of Fai’s cock, bare and rock-hard, against his own.</p><p>He’s not sure whose moan it is that vibrates between their teeth, at the contact - it’s probably both of them - but he does know it’s his own hand that <em> claps </em> against the back of Fai’s thigh, pulling him into a delicious drag against him in the same motion, eliciting a broken gasp from Fai’s mouth where he’s licking into his own.</p><p>“Sorry,” Kurogane breathes, realizing maybe that was a little too rough, but Fai doesn’t slow the roll of his hips, just laughs, and moans -</p><p>
  <em> “Don’t be.” </em>
</p><p>- into his mouth.</p><p>It’s perfect, the tantalizingly slow slide of their bodies together, the way Fai rocks against his hips and bears him down into the mattress like they were <em> born </em> to do this. For the second time tonight, he thinks maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if they just finished like this, it’s so good, <em> too </em> good to stop.</p><p>He reaches down between them, grabbing them both in one hand and stroking up and down, and Fai gasps, and it’s the best sound he’s ever heard. Fai breaks the kiss and ducks his head, resting a damp forehead against Kurogane’s own sweaty shoulder, breathing hot into his neck and bucking up into his hand, and if he keeps this up and strokes them in hand a few more times he knows he’ll be <em> gone. </em></p><p>But - suddenly - Fai is hurriedly pulling back, panting “W-<em> wait, </em> wait, wait, stop,” and pressing a hand to Kurogane’s chest to hold himself up. Kurogane stops, left blinking up at him breathlessly in confusion and concern. He’s immediately worried he’s crossed some sort of line, and it takes him a moment to come down from the edge he was teetering so carefully on before he can ask him.</p><p>“What, what’s wrong?” He asks, bringing a careful hand up to Fai’s shoulder, stroking a thumb against his collarbone.</p><p>Fai doesn’t respond at first, catching his breath, and Kurogane waits. The last thing he wants is to scare him away - if this is too much, that’s fine. Whatever Fai is comfortable with is what they’ll do, even if it’s stopping entirely, and that’s that.</p><p>“Nothing’s <em> wrong- </em> I...” Fai starts, still a little breathless, then looks up at him sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I just...”</p><p>Kurogane raises his eyebrows, to show he’s listening.</p><p>Fai licks his lips. “I- I want to do more than this.”</p><p>His breath is still erratic, and his lips are kiss-swollen, and there’s a pretty pink flush that travels from his face down to the middle of his chest - and it’s with Fai placing a hand on his bicep that Kurogane understands. He hadn’t done anything wrong, he’d just been doing it too <em> right; </em> brought Fai too close to the edge before he was quite ready to tumble over it.</p><p>He laughs darkly under his breath, reeling in the thought that it was <em> him </em> that did this to Fai - turned him into this pleasured, breathless, beautiful mess before him.</p><p>He brings his hand up to Fai’s jaw, holding his gaze, stroking a thumb against a pale cheek. “What do you want?” he asks, simply.</p><p>He knows, whatever the answer is, he’ll give it to him.</p><p>Fai breathes in deep, regards him for a moment, then closes his eyes and leans into the touch, exhaling. Kurogane waits for his answer, suddenly glad for the opportunity to back away from the edge as well. Anything with him would be more than perfect, but he wants this to last.</p><p>Fai brings a hand up to the back of Kurogane’s own where it rests at his cheek, and after a moment, curls rough, pale fingers around darker ones. All of Kurogane’s senses are drawn to that pinpoint of touch, Fai’s thumb brushing sweetly against the backs of his fingers. He pulls Kurogane’s hand away, ever so slightly, so he can press a soft kiss to his palm.</p><p>Mid-kiss, Fai opens his eyes again, and his gaze is heated and locked on Kurogane’s.</p><p>
  <em> Shit. </em>
</p><p>Fai’s bottom lip catches on the heel of his palm when he ends the kiss and looks up, and suddenly Kurogane wants to catch that lip between his teeth and kiss it swollen again, with the way he’s looking at him.</p><p>The sweet, gentle stroke of Fai’s thumb against his fingers is a sharp contrast to the rasp of his voice and the words he speaks next.</p><p><em> “I want to fuck you,” </em>Fai whispers through his teeth.</p><p>Kurogane feels like the air is punched out of his lungs.</p><p>“Fuck, please, <em> yes, </em>” he hisses through his teeth, trying and failing not to squirm in anticipation. That’s exactly what he wants.</p><p>Fai seems more than pleased at that response, breathing a sigh past lips that curl into a grin, narrowing his eyes and letting go of his hand, slinking up to cage Kurogane in his arms again.</p><p>“Are you sure you know what you’re getting into?” Fai teases, fully above him now, bending his arms to lean down closer to his face. “It’s not too late for me to go easy on you.”</p><p>Kurogane’s gaze flickers to the side, at Fai’s arms where they hold up the mage’s weight above him, remembering not for the first time tonight that he’s always been stronger than he looks. A rush of excitement runs down his spine, still reeling from Fai’s boldness, as he looks back up, furrows his brow, and spits back his reply - never one to back down from a challenge.</p><p>“Don’t you <em> dare</em>.”</p><p>Fai’s lips are on his, then, deliciously bruising. He pries Kurogane’s mouth open with his own, swallowing the ninja’s sigh as well as his tongue. Kurogane holds Fai by the waist, pulling him down again, wondering if he’ll ever get used to the way his stomach bottoms out every time Fai sidles his body up against his own.</p><p>He hopes he won’t.</p><p>Teeth nibble at his bottom lip, making Kurogane choke out a groan again, left chasing after the sweet drag of those teeth as Fai’s hand travels down, down, fingers dancing in a light tease right where he needs his touch the most.</p><p>Those thin, long fingers wrap perfectly around him, then, and Kurogane has to pull away to breathe, leaving Fai nosing at his cheek, kissing the corner of his mouth.</p><p>“Mmn, have you ever…?” Fai asks, trailing off as he trails innocent kisses along his cheekbone, <em> just barely </em> stroking him with that damn hand and driving him mad. He knows what he’s asking - not just if he’s had sex at all before but if he’s done <em> this, </em> wanting to know how careful he needs to be.</p><p>“No,” Kurogane breathes, because it’s the answer to both. “Have you?”</p><p>“Just a few times,” Fai answers. “But that’s fine, we’ll just have to go slow.” He grins against Kurogane’s cheek, pulling his hand up in a slow drag to punctuate his words. “Is that okay?”</p><p>“<em>Hah,</em>” Kurogane’s breath hitches, “I th-thought you said you weren’t gonna go easy.”</p><p>Fai chuckles, low in his throat, and Kurogane decides he loves the torture of that sound. “Who said ‘slow’ meant ‘easy’?”</p><p>As if to prove his point, Fai agonizingly drags his hand up his shaft, up, and finally pulls his hand away entirely, leaving him <em> aching </em> at the absence of his touch.</p><p>Kurogane exhales hard - once, twice, waiting - and he knows he’s fucked when Fai just grins against his cheekbone. Impatient, he pulls Fai’s hips down against his own again.</p><p>“As long as you fucking stop talking right now and get<em> inside </em> me I don’t <em> care </em> how long it takes.”</p><p>Fai throws his head back and laughs - <em> laughs, </em> the bastard!</p><p>Kurogane doesn’t understand what the hell is so funny about his own torture - and in payback, he leans up to press his lips to that lovely bared throat above him.</p><p>Fai's laughter cuts off suddenly, and he lets out a <em>"hmm",</em> rewarding Kurogane with a light tug at his hair as he kisses Fai's neck, running broad hands up his back.</p><p>Kurogane decides he loves it here, buried against Fai's shoulder and nosing at his jaw, earning him little gasps of pleasure that he wants nothing more than to keep hearing; but he doesn't get to stay for long, with Fai pulling away and pressing his lips against his own again, both hands now tangling into Kurogane's hair.</p><p>He can't be upset, though, with the way Fai's kissing him - and he returns the kiss in kind, hands pressing against his back and holding him closer - and they just stay like that for a few moments more, lingering just a little longer in that perfect state of <em> anticipation. </em></p><p>Fai breaks the kiss suddenly, though, still leaning his forehead against Kurogane’s, and furrows his brow. “Wait, do we even have any…?”</p><p>“Huh?” <em> Oh, right. </em> “Uh-” Kurogane leans up on his elbows after a moment of dumb staring, and glances around the room in his half-dazed state, tries to think of something they can use, or someplace in this room someone might’ve hidden oils or <em> something. </em></p><p>Fai leans up on his arms and looks around too, just a little more thoroughly than Kurogane had been. He just watches him for a moment, his entire mind and body too focused on <em> Fai </em> to be able to think about anything else too hard. But he tears his gaze away and remembers the bedside table he sees out of the corner of his eye, notices it has a few drawers at the bottom.</p><p>“Check the table,” Kurogane nods toward it, and Fai's already fumbling, leaning over the edge of the bed to open the first drawer, still half on top of him, one hand holding onto Kurogane’s forearm for purchase. He supposes he could be more helpful, as Fai frantically rummages through the drawer’s contents, but he just watches him, too far gone to pretend he’s not totally captivated by his every action. Fai seems to find nothing in the first drawer, so he slams it shut and shifts a bit to open the one below it. His hand rustles through that one too, and Kurogane feels him pause, then deflate and groan in utter frustration when he seems to find nothing of use to them.</p><p>He snorts, at the way Fai just kind of - <em> hangs </em> over the edge of the bed, thinking. There’s probably something in the bathroom, he remembers - salves and oils that the healers gave him for his shoulder. He’s about to suggest it - but then Fai perks up, a lightbulb going off, and he turns his head toward Kurogane.</p><p>He grins, and - <em> really, </em> what could it be <em> this </em> time?</p><p>Fai quickly rights himself, climbing back on top of him fully, straddling him. Kurogane holds him steady by the hips, meeting his gaze. He arches a brow in query.</p><p>Fai just raises his right hand in front of his face, and he doesn’t understand, but then - he <em> snaps, </em> and all of a sudden there’s wetness on his fingers, and he’s smiling.</p><p>Oh, magic. Of course.</p><p>Shit. That shouldn’t be so <em> hot. </em> Why the <em> fuck </em> is that so <em> hot? </em></p><p>Kurogane pulls him into a searing kiss again, and Fai just laughs against his lips. He really needs to stop reacting like this to everything the mage does, or he’s going to find out he’s got Kurogane wrapped around his little finger.</p><p>Still, he wonders what else that magic can do for them in bed. He wants to find out.</p><p>He realizes there’s an ongoing list, now, of things he wants to do with him.</p><p>Fai adjusts so he’s kneeling above him on his knees, and then lowers his hand between them as they kiss, then the other one, too - and it’s just the hint of his touch to Kurogane’s thighs that has him spreading them apart. Fai smiles, settles between them, trails his fingers along the backs of strong thighs to hitch them further apart, one hand leaving a cool trail of lubricant on his skin. What even <em> is </em> that stuff? He doesn’t care, suddenly, as Fai’s right hand inches closer, closer, before it’s circling, teasing.</p><p>Kurogane’s heart is<em> pounding. </em></p><p>“This shouldn’t hurt, okay? Let me know if it hurts,” Fai whispers, more tenderly than he’s said or done anything all night, and it pulls at his heartstrings.</p><p>“Just - fucking <em> do </em> it already,” Kurogane grumbles.</p><p>For once, Fai does as he’s told - pulling just slightly away so he can let Kurogane breathe (or just so he can watch, more likely) - slowly circling a wet finger around his entrance.</p><p>“Relax,” Fai whispers, and he does, as much as he can - and then that finger is slowly entering him, and there’s a sharp intake of breath that Kurogane realizes comes from himself.</p><p>“Yes, that’s it,” Fai breathes, and he warms a little under the praise as he slowly lets him inside. It takes a minute, Fai going slow and gentle enough to let Kurogane relax and get used to it. Fai stills, once he’s all the way in, and Kurogane just breathes, trying to get used to the intrusion. He knew the mage had long fingers, but... <em> fuck </em> it’s different to realize it like this. It’s pleasantly strange, at first, and then he relaxes around him and it’s <em> good </em> - good, but not nearly enough.</p><p>He opens his eyes to see Fai watching him with an unreadable expression on his face, somewhere between lust and love and awe, and Kurogane just meets that gaze, letting out a slow breath past parted lips. He feels vulnerable in a way he never has before, realizing fully for the first time the amount of trust this takes, and letting it settle into his bones.</p><p>There’s no one else he would give this trust to so freely, so willingly.</p><p>No one but Fai.</p><p>Fai, who’s so patiently watching him, waiting for a sign to continue.</p><p>Kurogane licks his lips, and then nods.</p><p>And then Fai’s moving that digit, in and out at first, slowly - the slick-wet slide of it making it easy. After a little while he adds a side-to-side motion, stretching him as much as one finger can on its own. He tries to breathe, and then Fai’s lips are on his neck again, and the pleasant distraction is certainly a welcome way to help him relax a little more.</p><p>He hadn’t realized he was wound so tightly. Fai is making quick work of that, though.</p><p>After a little while, once he’s just getting comfortable, there’s a second wet finger, stroking a warning at his entrance - and when Fai pushes it in, Kurogane <em> keens</em>. He’s never heard himself sound so desperate, and his face flushes, but Fai is whispering praise against his jaw as he slowly stretches him further.</p><p>“Good, that’s good,” and, “you okay?” breathed at his jawline between kisses, and Kurogane just nods, reaching up to brace himself on Fai’s arms, curling fingers around lean but deceptively strong biceps. He’s more than okay, but he knows this isn’t all, and the anticipation of <em> more </em> suddenly washes over him.</p><p>“Just - keep going,” he breathes.</p><p>Fai does, scissoring his fingers apart and back together, and Kurogane moans in response, the stretch is so good. He turns his head just to the side, capturing that mouth again, needing those lips to stifle the sounds he’s making. Fai obliges, giving him chaste little kisses as he opens him up the rest of the way, and by the time the third finger is added, Kurogane is a desperate moaning mess beneath him.</p><p>He feels like he’s taken a drug, his body gone slack beneath Fai’s touch, all his muscles relaxed in a way he’s never felt before. But his senses are all in hyperdrive, every point of touch between them driving him mad - the lips kissing from mouth over to cheek again, the tip of a nose pressing against his ear, the long wisps of blonde hair tickling his face, the hand at the back of his knee holding him open, the other hand doing unspeakable things - it’s all too much and yet it’s not enough, he needs him closer, needs him pressed up against his body and trapping him against the bed and panting in his ear and rocking into him. Needs to be caged and held in those arms, needs to hold him in return and be with him the way he can’t imagine ever wanting to be with anyone else for the rest of his life.</p><p><em> “Fai,” </em> he breathes, like he’s telling a secret - and he doesn’t mean for it to be a beg, but it sure sounds like one.</p><p>Hearing his name on Kurogane’s lips sparks something in Fai, making him tighten his grip on his knee and choke out a voiceless moan into his ear, and suddenly Kurogane lets it sink in that Fai wants this, too. He wants him - they want each other - and there’s nothing holding them back now.</p><p>“You ready?” Fai asks, and his voice sounds more desperate than he probably means it to.</p><p><em> “Yes,” </em>Kurogane hisses, and then those fingers are slipping out of him, and the sudden emptiness makes him ache.</p><p>Fai pulls away to lean back on his knees and Kurogane watches him, eyes dragging down that perfect body - just to see Fai drag his hand once deliciously up the length of his own erection, using some of the lubricant on himself before wiping the last of its residue on the sheets.  Kurogane can’t take his eyes off him, can’t help but want to touch him - so he reaches down and wraps his own, real, fingers around Fai’s cock. Fai chokes out a shocked laugh and falls forward, bracing himself with his arms on the bed to either side of Kurogane’s head.</p><p>“O-<em> ohh, </em> you are <em> way </em> too confident for someone who’s never done this before,” Fai chokes out, teasing but he’s shaking a little, and he closes his eyes for a moment to catch his breath. Kurogane smirks, not moving an inch. He feels so good in his hand, and Fai opens his eyes again, cerulean burning down at him through half-lids. “Mmn, you know, I can’t do anything if you don’t let go.”</p><p>Kurogane laughs darkly, a flash of white teeth challenging and murderous aimed up at his lover, and Fai shivers at the sight. He does let go, though, resting his hands on either side of Fai’s waist, instead.</p><p>The mage takes another moment to collect himself, but then he’s tilting his head down to look down at him through his lashes, heat in his eyes, looking dangerous and so, so beautiful.</p><p>His hands move down to the backs of Kurogane’s knees, hitching his legs higher, further apart - and Kurogane shudders when his ass lifts off the bed. He wraps his legs around Fai’s waist, and Fai smiles, reaching down so he can guide himself in.</p><p>He pauses just before he does, though, and looks Kurogane straight in the eyes.</p><p>That lovely, deep blue is the last thing he sees before he’s screwing his eyes shut, as Fai pushes into him slowly, and his mouth is falling open in ecstasy.</p><p>He chokes out a sob of sheer pleasure, it’s good, it’s <em> so good, </em> so different from the feeling of his fingers but <em> better; </em> fuller. Deeper. Fai inches into him, little by little, pulling back every so often before going further - Kurogane groaning underneath him - until finally he’s fully sheathed inside him, and he pauses. Kurogane takes a few moments to catch his breath before he looks up, and from the way Fai’s shaking, he can tell he’s showing a <em> lot </em> of restraint right now.</p><p>He can’t wait to find out just how <em> much </em> restraint, once it’s gone.</p><p>“Does it hurt at all?” The mage asks, and gods, he loves him so fucking much.</p><p>“No. ‘S <em> good, </em>” Kurogane moans, legs shaking, and rolls his hips in a circle to drive his point home.</p><p>The shift of it is perfect, and Fai closes his eyes and <em> moans, </em> deep and open-mouthed and <em> loud. </em>Kurogane sighs at that, lifts a hand to Fai’s jaw, strokes his thumb across his lip in a reverent touch. Fai reaches up to catch that hand and pull his palm to his lips, like before. Then he locks his eyes on him again, and he pulls Kurogane’s hand down to rest against his own heart.</p><p>Without question, Kurogane flattens his hand, pressing steady against Fai’s fluttering heartbeat. He meets his gaze, practically feeling that beloved, fragile heart pounding in his <em> own </em> chest. With each beat, it seems to say to Kurogane what he already knows - what Fai has already told him in words, weeks before in Kurogane’s home country - <em> “I’m alive” </em> and <em> “I’m here” </em> and <em> “I’m not going to run anymore” </em>.</p><p>Kurogane strokes his thumb along Fai’s chest, his answer silent but he hopes it’s clear - <em> “I’m not going anywhere, either.” </em></p><p>Fai’s fingers tighten around his own, and he leans down to kiss him, sweet and slow and tender; wrapping his arms fully around him as Kurogane’s hand stays right where it is at his heart, the other one reaching up to tangle in his hair and deepen the kiss. They’re a mess of limbs and sweat and bare skin, pressed together so completely, and he can’t tell where one of them ends and the other begins, anymore.</p><p>And then, Fai fucks up into him, slow and dragging, and -</p><p>
  <em> Fuck. </em>
</p><p>He’s not going to pretend to be greedy and ask for more - this is it. This is all he wanted. This is <em> perfect. </em></p><p>(Well. He wants to keep going, though.)</p><p>His grip on Fai tightens as he groans, low, into an open mouth. He turns his head just slightly, needing to breathe but still wanting Fai’s lips on him as he slowly starts to rock in and out, and soon they’re both moaning and sighing, and it all seems to echo in the quiet of the room.</p><p>Fai, still shaking a little, leans up on his forearms again, and Kurogane grabs onto him, missing the perfect weight of him on his chest. He seems to gain some of that domineering energy back from this angle, though, now that that first sweet pleasure of lovemaking has begun to steady into a delicious rhythm, and Fai is looking down at him hungrily, his confidence rushing back over him in waves.</p><p>“Yes,” Fai breathes, and Kurogane closes his eyes. “That’s it. So good for me,” and he reaches a hand up to brush Kurogane’s hair back from his forehead, carding fingers into the damp of his bangs and making him tilt his head back, leaning down to press a single off-center kiss to his chin. That single chaste kiss turns into a trail of kisses down his throat, to his collarbone, where Fai opens his mouth and drags his teeth down and across his chest.</p><p>Kurogane can barely breathe. </p><p>“Now,” Fai murmurs against his heart, “What was that about you not caring how long this takes?”</p><p>Kurogane opens his eyes again, looks up at the ceiling for a moment to try and slow his erratic breathing. He thinks about maybe regretting his words from earlier a little, glaring back down at Fai, who slows the roll of his hips as soon as he so much as looks at him. Fai pulls back and gets up on his knees again, lifts Kurogane’s hips up off the bed, hitches one of his knees over his shoulder. Kurogane throws his head back in a broken gasp as Fai thrusts back in slowly, going in <em> much </em> deeper from this angle.</p><p>Fai’s smile turns wicked and dangerous, and as Kurogane looks up at him, he thinks this act may be the closest thing to <em> worship </em> he’ll ever get - this sweet submission at the hands of the one he loves so fiercely. He’s already decided he’d do no less than go through <em> hell </em> for this man - and this is the furthest thing from hell he can think of.</p><p>Fai reaches up a hand to his neck, and his thumb brushes over the trail of lovebites from earlier, making Kurogane shudder, the bruises still sensitive. He turns his head and closes his eyes, Fai lowering himself to kiss at his neck again.</p><p>“I love seeing you like this,” Fai whispers, “falling apart at my every touch.” He pulls away again, too soon, pausing the rhythm of his hips, and looks down at him, something like a realization dawning in his eyes. “You’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you? If I asked.”</p><p>Kurogane glares up at him, sideways. He’s not about to say yes - but he would, he would, he’d follow him to the ends of the earth, and he’s <em> dangerously </em> close to admitting that out loud - so he keeps his mouth shut.</p><p>His silence seems to tell Fai what he wants to know, though, and that awed expression is back on his face, and <em> screw </em> him for making Kurogane want to put that expression there again and again and again.</p><p>Instead of acknowledging that, however, he pulls Fai in closer with the leg that’s still wrapped around his waist, digging his heel into his back and forcing him in deeper. <em> “Move, </em> damn you,” he groans.</p><p>Fai chokes out a laugh, pleasantly caught off-guard but not entirely shocked. He does move a little, thank the <em> gods - </em> and he thinks that’ll be the end of it, but then the mage is whispering into his skin again, lips dragging against his throat.</p><p>“There’re so many things I want to do to you. So much I want you to do to me,” he adds, and that makes his cock twitch where it’s caught between Fai’s stomach and his own, just barely getting any amount of friction. He’s suddenly hyper-aware of the lack of attention Fai’s been giving him there.</p><p>(He wonders if he could come like this, untouched, just from Fai’s words and his sinful movements making him fall apart at the seams.)</p><p>He could leave it at that, and he bites his lip, trying to keep quiet. But he’s too far gone to hide his curiosity - he needs to know.</p><p>“Tell me,” he breathes, low in Fai’s ear, tangling his hand in his hair again. “Tell me what you’d do.”</p><p>Fai doesn’t seem to expect that, because he <em> squirms </em> in his arms - which makes his cock shift inside him, brushing so close to where he needs him - before smiling at his jawbone.</p><p>“So many things,” Fai repeats. “I want to taste you,” he starts, pressing the flat of his tongue against his throat for emphasis, and Kurogane throws his head back and swallows. He <em> must </em> know by now how untouched he is.</p><p>“Want to sit in your lap and let you take me like that. Or the other way around, I’m not picky.”</p><p>Kurogane groans, pulls at Fai’s hair. He wants both.</p><p>“Mm, I want you to take me like this, too. Want you to hold me down with those strong arms, and then let me return the favor.”</p><p>He flushes at the praise again. He might combust, just thinking about it.</p><p>His thigh above the knee that’s hooked over Fai’s shoulder is starting to burn.</p><p>“Wanna turn you over and press your face into the mattress, fuck you like that.” Fai laughs to himself. “I could do that now, but no. I wanna see what you look like when you come.”</p><p>Fai times that with another slow press into him, and Kurogane can’t hold back the <em> whine </em> that comes at that.</p><p>“I also,” Fai breathes, and hesitates - but then decides to go on anyway. “I wanna try... drinking from you, from other places. If you want,” he adds, and Kurogane wants to kiss the living daylights out of him for that - he’s never <em> asked </em> to feed before, and it’s a huge step that he has now - a sure sign, along so many others, of the closing of the distance between them.</p><p>“Where?” Kurogane asks, pulling him just that bit closer; the unspoken ‘<em>yes, of course I want that’ </em>left implied.</p><p>Fai breathes out shakily. “Your neck,” he lists, nipping with his human teeth to accentuate his point. “Your hips, your thighs. Everywhere. Wanna lick you up and down, either way, kiss every inch of you.”</p><p><em> “Hah </em> - that’s - Mmmh,” he starts, and trails off, distracted by Fai’s smiling kiss at the base of his throat.</p><p>“Wanna tie you up and make you beg. Wanna find out everything I can do to you with my magic. Wanna make love to you in the morning, when you’re tired and warm and half-asleep. Kuro-sama, I want <em> everything </em> with you,” he breathes into his skin, like a promise.</p><p>Kurogane’s fingers tighten where they’re carding clumsily through Fai’s hair, and he moans as Fai pulls out and then pushes slowly back in again.</p><p>“M-me, too. Want that too.”</p><p>“Mmm,” Fai smiles into the moan that escapes his lips. He continues kissing and sucking at Kurogane’s neck, and he knows he’s gonna look like a sex-wrecked <em> mess </em> in the morning. He can’t find it in himself to care.</p><p>“Mostly,” Fai says, and his ear perks toward his voice - he hadn’t expected him to continue. “I want you <em> just </em> like this. Wanna <em> touch </em> you.”</p><p>Fai’s fingers dance lightly at his abdomen, just beside his aching cock, and <em> fuck, </em> he doesn’t even remember him moving his hand down there.</p><p>“You f-fucking bastard, I kn- <em> knew </em> you were avoiding that on purpo - <em> Aahh </em> - ” he chokes out, as Fai thrusts into him again, and gods, he’s falling apart. He’s not gonna last much longer, if Fai keeps this up.</p><p>Fai just pulls away to look down at him, lets his fingers ghost up and down, right beside where he needs them.</p><p>Kurogane glares up at him.</p><p>“Do it.”</p><p>“Mm, do what?” Fai teases.</p><p>“Touch me,” Kurogane growls.</p><p>Fai laughs. “Say <em> please.” </em></p><p>Fuck, they’re really doing this?</p><p>Kurogane just glares up at him. <em> “Touch me, </em> or I’ll do it myself,” he repeats, commanding, grinding his hips down to meet him.</p><p>Fai grins, and then with one snap of his hips he <em> slams </em> into Kurogane, just once, finally hitting his prostate and making him cry out loud.</p><p><em> “Say it,” </em> Fai hisses, and Kurogane knows he’s lost.</p><p>“<em>Please</em>, touch me, <em> fuck, </em> please, Fai, I need you- ” the words spill out of his mouth like a fountain, punched out of Kurogane’s lungs, his mouth unable to stop the stream of them from rushing out.</p><p>Fai sighs, shaking, and whispers in his ear -</p><p>
  <em> “Good boy.” </em>
</p><p>And then he wraps those perfect fingers around his cock, <em> finally, </em> stroking up and down in a delicious pull. Kurogane bucks up into his hand, reaching and grabbing for any part of Fai he can hold onto. Then Fai speeds up his thrusts, hitting that spot again, and again, stroking him as he does.</p><p>It’s good, it’s so good, it’s perfect - and he’s suddenly glad Fai hadn’t touched him yet; he never would’ve lasted this way.</p><p>The moans are ripped from Kurogane’s throat as he claws at Fai’s back, trying to hold on - but he can’t, it’s too good. He tries to buck up into his hand at the same time as he tries to grind down desperately, meet Fai’s thrusts with his own, but Fai is relentless, all that restraint gone now as he fucks him, as he pulls at his cock, twisting his fingers around the head and pressing his thumb at the tip where it’s leaking.</p><p>Kurogane sobs out a moan, face all twisted up in pleasure. He’s so close now.</p><p><em> “Fai - ” </em> he sobs, and he’s never said his name so much. He thinks maybe he likes saying it like this.</p><p>Fai lets his left hand glide down along Kurogane’s right arm, pulling it down off his back to take his hand, pin it to the mattress, tangle his fingers with Kurogane’s. Kurogane squeezes his hand in return, grounding himself when he’s so, so close to tumbling over the edge.</p><p>He almost doesn’t want to. He wants to stay here forever, impossible as it is, in the perfect ecstasy of <em> just barely </em> hanging onto the precipice with him, right before they both fall.</p><p>“Kuro-s- a-ha<em> ah-” </em>Fai gasps into his ear, and Kurogane knows he’s close, too.</p><p>He wants to see him let go. Wants to fall with him.</p><p>He strokes his other hand - the prosthetic - down Fai’s back, and Fai lifts his head to look down at him. He looks so perfect right now, as they rock together, and Kurogane lifts that hand to hold Fai’s face, looking him right in the eyes.</p><p>“I love you,” Kurogane says, and then Fai is crying out, dropping his head to Kurogane’s chest and tightening the death-grip on his hand, stilling and shaking as he spills into him.</p><p>All it takes for Kurogane is the feeling of that final thrust before he’s seeing stars, squeezing his eyes shut as the orgasm wracks his body, his knee coming down from Fai’s shoulder from the sheer force of it. He moans out as he comes into Fai’s hand and across his own stomach, letting Fai shakily stroke him through it.</p><p>His breath comes in gasps, even as he comes down, slowly letting his body relax and sink into the sheets. Fai pants into his shoulder, catching his breath, and Kurogane strokes his fingers through soft hair, letting him slowly fall limp into his arms.</p><p>They lie like that for a few moments, silent in the still of the room, catching their breath and melting into each other.</p><p>“No fair,” Fai says after a bit, teasing but still out of breath. “I didn’t get to watch you.”</p><p>Kurogane chuckles breathlessly, mumbles “That’s your own fault.” Fai flicks him in the side in protest, and Kurogane grumbles out an “ow”, but Fai doesn’t say anything and Kurogane doesn’t open his eyes - just pulls him close.</p><p>Their hands are still joined (as are, well, the rest of their bodies) and Fai strokes his thumb lovingly against his. Kurogane can’t help the small smile that comes to his lips, and he wraps his arm fully around him, hugs him close, turns his head to bury his face in Fai’s hair and breathe him in.</p><p>He can feel Fai’s rapid heartbeat against his chest, right where his own races beneath his ribs.</p><p>“I love you, too,” Fai whispers into his shoulder.</p><p>Kurogane lets those words wash over him, feels them sink into his skin. Then he sighs, content. No, more than content.</p><p>He’s happy. So unbelievably happy.</p><p>“Idiot,” he mumbles in reply, and presses a kiss to the crown of his head. Fai laughs, and it sounds like he might be crying, just a little bit.</p><p>Moments pass like that, just lying in each other’s arms in silence - and as he comes down further, the air around them cooling, he realizes that they’re sticky, and sweaty, and gross - but he doesn’t really want to move.</p><p>Finally, after what feels like ages, Fai lifts his head up. His bangs stick a little to the sweat on Kurogane’s chest, and Kurogane breathes a laugh at how ridiculous he looks, releasing Fai’s hand to reach up and brush his hair out of his face. Fai laughs in return, and Kurogane returns his hand to his lover’s, intertwining their fingers again. Then there’s that look of awe, again, on Fai’s face, and it feels like every time Kurogane does something even remotely tender, it appears.</p><p>That’s fine. He’ll just have to start doing those things more often.</p><p>Fai lifts that hand to his lips and kisses the backs of his fingers, looking down at him for a moment. The mage’s heartbeat has slowed to a steady <em> thump-thump, thump-thump, </em> and Kurogane just wants to close his eyes and lay his head back; fall asleep to it.</p><p>He does close his eyes and lay his head back, but then Fai starts placing kisses on his face - probably partly as a distraction as he finally pulls out of him, making Kurogane shudder - but then he just keeps giving them, placing little pecks on his chin, his jawline, his cheekbones, his eyelids, his temples. He rolls off of him, then, onto his side - and Kurogane follows him, wrapping his arms around his middle and burying his face into Fai’s chest.</p><p>He can hear his heartbeat louder here, and he decides selfishly that this is where and how he’ll fall asleep tonight.</p><p>Fai smiles and presses his lips to Kurogane’s forehead in a tender, lingering kiss, holding him close.</p><p>Kurogane starts to drift off, comfortable and tired and a little too warm. But then Fai whispers, “Let me clean us up,” and starts to pull away. Kurogane stubbornly tightens his arms around him and pulls him back down.</p><p>“No. Don’t leave.”</p><p>A fond laugh chimes from above him. “That’s gross.” Kurogane shrugs, and Fai laughs again. “Besides, I’m not going anywhere. I don’t have to.”</p><p>He looks up at him, confused, his half-asleep, sexed-out mind not understanding what he means. But then Fai pulls away from him, wincing at the stickiness. He does some sort of... movement, with his hand, and whistles, and just… <em> magics </em> the mess away.</p><p>Kurogane gapes, looks up at him. “Have I mentioned I love you?”</p><p>Fai <em> laughs, </em> and reaches down to bring the covers up around them.</p><p>Once they’re settled, he pulls Kurogane closer again. Kurogane’s arms find their place back around him, hands resting at his back - but he doesn’t burrow his head in yet, though - just meets his gaze. Fai looks... <em>happy,</em> as happy as Kurogane feels - and he can't help it as his lips turn up in a small smile, one he doesn’t even try to hide this time.</p><p>“Mage,” he starts, after a moment.</p><p>Fai smiles. “Hmm?”</p><p>Kurogane frowns, and hesitates - not because he’s unsure of what he’s going to say, but because he wants to make sure he says it right.</p><p>“I want you to stay with me.”</p><p>A look of surprised confusion washes over Fai’s face, his lips turning up in a smile. “What?” he asks.</p><p>“No matter what happens next, I.” He sighs. “I want you to stay with me.”</p><p>Fai’s smile grows softer - if that were possible - and he exhales.</p><p>“I just...” Kurogane continues, flustering a little in Fai's silence. “...thought you needed to know. ‘Cause you’re an idiot,” he adds, pointedly.</p><p>Fai stares incredulously for a few more moments, and then laughs.</p><p>“Well, good,” Fai says, “because I want to stay with you.”</p><p>Kurogane sighs, and then smiles again. “Good.”</p><p>He pulls him closer, into a purely self-indulgent kiss. Fai sighs happily into it, and they don’t say anything else for the rest of the night.</p><p>In the morning, when Kurogane wakes up, it’s the same way he fell asleep - to the sound of a steady heartbeat, curled up into Fai’s chest, wrapped up in his embrace.</p>
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